I think my vagina is haunted
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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