Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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