So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
