ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
