Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Randomize
