pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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