Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
did i just pee glitter
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
