They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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