i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
