my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Is her dick bigger than yours?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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