Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
