Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
