Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
