Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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