No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
