Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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