last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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