You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
