Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize