found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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