I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
