dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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