I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
