is your mom at the bar?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Terrible idea I love it
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
