Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
