i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
