Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
