i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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