margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize