we're making bets on your personal life
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize