who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
did i walk over a car last night?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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