i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Blood and glitter go together right?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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