People in love make me want to vomit
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
