and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
