we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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