..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
