At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
