She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
