This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
