are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
