At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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