I cannot find my penis.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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