Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
