AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
