I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
No subtext here. People are naked.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
