Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
