i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
