I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
