I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
