Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize