im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
