let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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