1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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