Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
