i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
