to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
