SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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