My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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