@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
