We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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