People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
