i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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