Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
