I just pynch a tree in the face
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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